this is really illegal…I’m in front with the curly hair
Once on a mission trip to Rome, one of my favorite people in the world handed me a packet. Despite many photocopies over the years, the title was clear: we really do need each other.
Later, something awful happened. It was gradual and I could not realize nor stop the wound from growing and festering. I was hurt. I curled up and became a bit of a hermit. I did not want to need anyone (except for a select few).
But guess what?
We really do need each other.
Moving back from SF to Chicago made this abundantly clear. When I saw an old friend, I think my soul sang an old song I’d forgotten the words to. Supporting one another and allowing oneself to be supported is not only important; it’s necessary to do this thing called walking with the Lord.
Once upon a time, I showed the real me to people and they recoiled. They made a list of what I needed to change and I tried, I truly did. Metaphorically, I nearly killed myself trying to tick things off that list. But we (both those people and myself) can’t do it that way.
But God.
“And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit” (2 Corinthians 3:18)
I forgot that, so raw inside. I forgot that verse and vowed never to show the real me to anyone again. Enter moving. Enter blogging. People who loved me invaded my space until I uncurled like a trampled but alive flower.
God has even used this blogging community to prove His point. It’s so simple and difficult because of our human hearts but…
We really do need each other.
I admit it.
So yes, I’m in this weird place, staying with my dad to save money (SF has the highest rent in the country) and commuting into the city. In the fall, I’ll find a place of my own and a church too, a community group to do life with.
I’m writing it down so now I have to do it.
It’s kind of terrifying but also freeing to stop allowing old hurts to determine how I live.
“What no eye has seen, nor ear heard,
nor the heart of man imagined,
what God has prepared for those who love him” (1 Corinthians 2:9).
Find me at Flowers in my Hair.
Love,
… Meet Nina …
